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Rapunzel

I'm gonna tell you a little story, about a girl who could rise
She looked at the world, with the biggest open eyes
She was black, she was white, she was yellow, she was brown
She was lighting up the road, all over every town
She was in, she was out, she was down, she was up
Riding on her coattails, never drinking from a cup
She loved to ride her big wheel, down into the ditch
Shy but always fun, always catching every pitch
Had her little boyfriend who liked to kiss her cheek
But that relationship only lasted a week
Had a habit of playing hooky that lasted awhile
She wasn't the most obedient child
Then she ran away from school, with her best friend
Stole candy from the gas station 'round the bend
Things get a little crazy when you have spare time
There are places to see, and there are trees to climb


This little piggy went to market square
And this little piggy flew straight out of there
This little piggy couldn't stand ground beef
This little piggy wants to see the Coral Reef
That little piggy had dreams of his own
And that little piggy could never find a home
While this little piggy settled down with a sow
And this little piggy made an terrible row
Snow white bit into the poison apple
While Rapunzel found herself locked up in a castle
And the man in the moon ran away with the spoon
While the helpless Sleepling Beauty was left to swoon
Prince Charming was oh so smart
He never broke a maiden's heart
Rumpelstilskin got his own
While the Emporer was stripped to the bone

So tell me about the girl with imagination
I think you can contrive a situation
Little girls grow up and leave their towns
Sometimes they walk the streets, sometimes they settle down
Other times they dream big even when they are poor
Won't settle for less, but they're working for more
Little boys were the same, in once upon a timeland
They weren't saving girls, they were giving them a good hand
No this isn't Wonderland, Babeland or Boyland
No time for Crimeland, just take my hand
Don't treat your fellow people like they're lower than dirt
Don't be surprised if you end up getting hurt
You reap what you sow and it's time to plant the seeds
I can speak in metaphor but you know what you need

What a lame fairy story without an ending
What about the little girl? 

My Apathy

I cannot define your place
Cannot remember your face
I'm slowly losing the trace
An isolated case
Another unspoken war
Without the slamming of doors
I'm biting back at the core
'Til you're not there anymore
"I need to prove I'm alive"
Doesn't translate to the knives
When you're awake at 5
Just so you can survive
Knock knock knock for the blame
You never try to say my name
But you remember the shame
When things look the same
You want to push yourself away
Home's a place you can't stay
You're spreading fires anyway
With nothing left to say

I've respect for life for all of this
But you can never find out what you miss
And the hands that worked for your daily bread
Are the same ones that took the needle and sewed up her head

The anger leaves
And you're left with my apathy
My apathy
The anger leaves
And you're left with my apathy
My apathy

The Broken String

The present and past merge like a broken string
(hey.....)
So the string's broken
Bouncing along, what are you doing?
(Hey...)
It snapped all at once
(big thoughts are bigger than the fish that you caught)
If you wanted to ask my opinion when you stepped out, stepped up
Left it all open to the state I'm in
(it snapped all at once, you wanted to break the string, break the string)
(Hey)
46 & 2 and a scrape on the legs
Falling off, but no blood
Disjointed--like a broken string
Swelling going down? Well that's swell
(Hey..)
46 & 2 and then I smelled the paper mill
Everytime the fog settled, I could smell it
I was in it
Why would you ever go so far away?
If you only saw the ocean just a couple of times
You wasted your time there
The sky, the sun, the clouds, the winter
Sunset at 4
I never saw the forest at night
(The air is thick with meat)

Sussing them Out

Today we're going hunting
It's hard to catch your breath
When you're running away
Under the cover of night
In the light of day
Through the open fields we seek our prey
We're gonna chase you down
Trample the weeds
Circle around
We're gonna hunt you down
Sussing them out
Sussing them out
One by one
Why do they run?
Why do you chase?
Why do you run?
Why don't you stop?
In the meadow, before the thunderheads come
And spoil the fun
You are the ones
We want to snuff out
Silence is golden
The secrets are hidden
The life you save may be your own
Keep going....

Reconnect

When you feel so far away
How do you return unscathed
Sometimes I feel the pull
Of distant places I've only read about
Dreamed of
I want to be everywhere at once
So many choices, but only one at a time
One of me
Left to decide
Don't feel so far away
You're with me
I wish I could always hold you in my arms
So you'd never be alone
We only have this time
Slipping through our fingers
Trying hard to stay connected
To feel everything
That we are all entertwined
Even when we feel so far away..
Reconnect...

Balance is Lost (5-14-06)

Homeostasis
In these faces
You’ve seen it in a thousand places
But you can't keep him at bay
You can't keep him away
His name is Cancer Man
He'll crawl inside you when he can
Plants a seed within your cervix
Lungs, prostate, breast and soul
And leaves a gaping hole
A little too close to home
In the lymph nodes he roams
And the wearer of scarves
Becomes too weak to see the cut that he carves
Little girls, little boys
Don't be tempted by the ploy
Denial is nice
But pretty soon you'll feel the ice
Of the tumors, of malignance
Of his indignance
It's real now
As real as you and I
As real as the risks asssociated
With the ultimate lie
I'm not so dangerous
I am not dangerous
I am the living and the dead
I am the voice in your head
I am the pain that you feel
I am the one who is real
I am love and the light
I am the dark in the night
I am the replicated cells
In each circle of hell
I am the fear, I am whole
I am so meaningful
And balance is not my host
You are my chosen one
You are my host, you are the one
For me

And so the balance is lost

Let It Rain (4/24/06)

Let it rain
If I show you my love
And care about humanity
Why am I going to be punished
By your Man of Mercy?
Sister of Night
Father of Life and Death
Child of Pain
Love is a virtue
So why don't you
Spread it around
I don't want your hate
Don't want your discriminatory disease
I want your acceptance
I want to taste the rainbow
I want to slide down to the sea
Is there a place for me
With you on the throne?
In my own humanity
And yours too
I'll give this all to you
...
If only you'd would open your mind
Open your mind
Time is running out
Don't you get it?
Would the Buddha ever say it was okay to punish me?
We punish ourselves enough
Gods don't need the extra ego trip
I'm full of this love
But I'm indignant
I just want them to face the truth
That I"m just like you and you are not perfect
Neither am I, we never will be
But today is close enough
I don't have time to judge you all
For who you love
Let it rain
All over me
Let it rain
I want everything you can dish out
I'll take you down with my persistence
My own patience
My resistance
Dr. King, Gandhi, Malcolm X
Why does it matter with whom I have sex?
Why does it matter to you?
Let it rain on me
I will become stronger in the downpour
I will survive the flood
I will survive your flood
Noah, you lived too long
Punish Ham's descendants for your naked drunken stupor
The animals will rise
Let it rain
It's all in me
Kindness never harmed a soul
Hate is what has killed us all
Let it rain
Let it rain on me
Let it rain
Let it rain on me
I need to let it rain
You need to let it rain
Let it rain
Let it rain

Hydrophiliac

I step on your beach
I am burning inside
I've got this energy
I felt with you
Am I a part of you?
'Cause you're a part of me in the deepest layer
1000 words will not express it
I never thought that I could sound like this
I stripped myself bare
I leave myself exposed
My heart is on my sleeve
Some people think it's not safe
To swim so far from shore
If you only knew
What it's like to touch you
I'm heading down your river
I'm addicted to you
I crave the effects
Of having you inside me
(And I don't just mean your loooooooooooove)
Think about it, think about it, think about it
Think about it, think about it, think about it

Eons and Icons

In spite of masterpieces
I will wake up in love with the flaws
You're going to deck yourself out
All wrapped up in heat and this expanse
Of raw emotion
I don't think I knew this before
I'll take it any way I can
When it rains it pours
And I want more
Dreams soaked in paraffin
Fantasical
But I'm a little low on fuel
You're all eons away
And icons attest to the day
I am out of reach
You see
I see
It's the Year of Our Lord
In exquisite frustration and decadence
When the waves shoot straight down your spine
Into the fires of Earth
The message hiding in an egg
The question begs and begs and begs and begs
It begs to be answered
Oh just like the Earth groans
Plates are shifting
Devise your plan to awaken your mind
Where is your heart
In the thick if the mix
In light of searching for the quickest fix
The Jesus figure speaks
Do as I do
Be as I am
Come with me
Do as I do
Be as I am
Come with me
I want to know if you belong to the Sun
You can't exist if you're my religion
I never made the decision
I bit the apple in two
Snakes and love and demons
And you
The question begs and begs and begs and begs
And begs for an answer
The question begs and begs and begs and begs
And begs for an answer
Snakes and love and demons
And you
Eons and icons
Snakes and love and demons
Demons and you
Demons and you...

Amy

If I said I wanted to be near you
What would you think
If I thought about you all the time
If I wanted to believe in you (wanted you to believe in me)
And take in the essence that is you
And I know what you could be
In relation to me
How about if I thought about
Everything you've said to me
Everything you've said to me
You could be a part of me
I could tell you what I know about life
You could show me the way you see the world
I could give you my love
If you give me your hand
If you give me your hand
I don't know what you want from me
I said I don't know what you want from me

Sidewalks

On the opposite side of the sidewalk
If I can't see her face
It doesn't mean out of sight
Out of mind
Out of my world
I choose to do what I do
And she can react
And I wouldn't be able
To see the expression
(You just have to wait
You just have to wait)
Yes I just opened up again
And yes it can be scary
Yes it can be difficult
But I wouldn't even think about it
If didn't want to understand
She doesn't like politics
But she made me laugh
There is a lot that she can't say
But she conveys things anyway
Maybe more than she knows
And it boggles the mind
This self-awareness
She'll find it somewhere
So much time
That's all I have
So much time
That's all I have
Someone's taking this in
There's a heat inside
The source of which can't be expressed

9 Hours (The Migraine)

First comes the blinded nothingness
And general malaise
There must be something wrong here
Because I feel so dazed
In marches the zigzag army
To blur my line of sight
Now I really know it's coming
My neurons want to fight

Now there's a hollow throbbing
So quick am I to frown
I drop whatever I'm doing
I know I must lay down
In and out the nail tortures me
I feel it stab my brain
Someone give me anesthesia
For I can't stand the pain

My neurons want to fight..

Sexual Tension (Roughing It)

Every single day this week I found myself distracted
As if I didn't have enough to think about already
And every time I try to concentrate the tension settles in
What a state I'm in
I can see it
I can think it
I can know it
But I can't feel it
And it drives me insane
And it drives me insane..
Every single day this week I told myself to stay strong
And not be consumed with thoughts of flesh
But every single day this week
I
Succumbed
My mind went under
Down in the gutter
Down in the gutter..

S.O.S. from a Dying Star

10 billion years of this
10 billion years of this
Would you travel through the universe
Or would you travel through your own synaptic gap?
They're firing messages
And so you just keep dialing out
Ross 154, L143-23, Wolf 424A, L145-141, G51-15, L372-58, Proxima
Ross 248, L789-6ABC, LP731-58, G158-27, L725-32, HIP 85605, G208-45
Betelgeuse is about to go..
Would you travel through the universe
Or would you travel through your own synaptic gap?

Synthesis

Eyes
They wait for you
Inside
The mind that wants to
Know
Your thoughts to be the
Truth
I seek when I see
Arms
That tell me how you
Feel
When I want similar
Words
To express my
Mind
It trips, it follows it
Scours
To read you, what do you
Say
To control, to know, to
Find
My own thoughts and my
Deeds
They say so much so
Fast
They can't protect me

Phobos and Deimos

What does it mean to raise your fists in fury?
No one's asking you to tell your story
It's astronomical (your mind in distance)
Even with change you're alarmingly resistant
Every action carries its own weight
Consider that next time you close the gate
Now you know not to make plans too far in advance
But you know that you'll stick to your guns if you have the chance
You can live in peace or you can live in denial
You can take the lead or you walk single file
And I'm not sorry for doubting myself sometimes
I want to give you something else to taste...
Incorrigible
Insufferable
Unbelievable pride
Tell me what you need
Show me what you want
Tell me what you need
Show me what you want
And I will believe in myself
And I will believe in you

Judas

I was bored and I wanted some danger
Then my eyes fell on this sexy stranger
He had my attention, and I knew
My days of wandering eyes were through
We shared laughter, we shared words
His sense of humor so absurd
But then I had a vision in my mind
It would be me whom he would soon deny

Judas Priest
I love your face
Take me away from this boring place
Judas Priest
I love your lips
Swallow me inside your kiss

I ignored the warning, and felt fine
He said I was always on his mind
He was so clever, he had a smile
It kept me entertained all the while
But then I saw him turn one day
I was arrested and he did betray
Something had happened to our game
His lying eyes put me to shame

Judas Priest
I want you bad
I think you've taken what I had
Judas Priest
I was sincere
I did what I did to draw you near

He kissed me lovingly, it seemed so kind
But as the King of Jews, I'm not that blind
Judas stepped back and I was dismayed
And Judas had to look away
Such a coward, wouldn't look me in the eye
Because of him I knew I'd die
He betrayed me, a wound in my side
He glanced at me and he wanted to hide

Judas Priest
I loved your eyes
How they did desensitize
Judas Priest
You walked away
And I won't forgive you for that day
Judas Priest
I don't exist
In your mind we never kissed
Judas Priest
You left me pain
You left me standing in the rain
Judas Priest
I knew you'd lie
But I let it happen, now I wonder why
Judas Priest
Here’s a prophecy:
I'm dragging you down to hell with me

So I finally figured out how to use Edirol Orchestra..congratulations to me.
2006Jan7Ghostdeath is the first experiment with the orchestra. The original ditty was a creepy clip I came up with in high school on my old Yamaha DJ-X keyboard using an echoey synth pad.